Parts Dialogue

Dialogue with one's inner world of selves, sub-personalities, allies and parts is a wonderful process tool that helps with resolving outer troubles from within.

If you haven't done it before, you're in for a treat! It's fascinating, fun, and deeply soul-nourishing. 

The basic premise of dialoguing as a tool is that symptoms like depression, anxiety, relationship struggles, and other daily conundra can be loosened and cleared out on the inner plane by engaging with them in conversation. 

That's because aches and pains, dysfunctions, images, synchronicity, dreams, impulses, fantasies, irrational conflicts, and so on, are surface signs and emanations from our psychic life. If we follow a signal back to its source, we will learn more about what's going on in the inner dimensions. A painful, disruptive signal is a sign of something being out of alignment, blocked, or somehow mucked up inside. 

Often when we have a symptom, be it shoulder pain or a persistent obsession with something, it is actually an energetic package sent to us by one of our parts. One reason dialogue is a good tool is that when we give our parts a chance to use words, and we "get it" in our conscious mind, they feel more heard and have less need of radiating severely disruptive messages to get ahold of our attention.

Dialogue gives parts a chance to speak in language that our everyday ego minds can understand. Ego minds aren't great at receiving poetic, intuitive, imaginal, or symbolic communications and benefit from translation into a cognitive version of that same information. Dialogue can translate a psychic message from shoulder pain into words.  

My invitation to you: If you haven't done this before and want to try, you can start by simply addressing whatever you are witnessing, and see where the conversation takes you. Just be natural about it, say what you really want to say, and see what the symptom or inner part says back to you.

I like to write it out like a script for a play. 

Me (gloomily): Hi Depression. It's You again. 

Depression: That's right. It's me again. 

Me: Back so soon. 

Depression: Yep. 

Me (frustrated): I'm sick of you. Why don't you leave me alone? I hate feeling so heavy and dead... 

Depression (bitterly): I'm very aware that you hate me, you make that very clear.

Me: Ah...I'm sorry...

Depression: It's ok. Not many people do like me. Or understand me. 

Me: I'm sorry. 

Depression: It's ok. I'm used to it. 

You get the idea.

If you fast forward on the conversation a bit, it might end up like this, where I am able to receive wisdom that Depression holds for me: 

Depression: You need more time in the dark. You need to rest. Give things time to process, to grow. Stay out of the light for a while. We need some privacy. Keep your psychic doors closed.

Me: Ah I see. I need to slow down you mean? Be alone?

Depression: Yes please. Give everything some time to develop. Don't think for a while. Give us a break, we need some time to process and digest all this work you've been doing. You can't take the photograph out of the darkroom yet, you know...it's like...it needs more time in the chemical bath. Without light which would just blow it out.

Me: Ah ok...thank you. I need to let these projects rest a bit. 

Depression: Yes, and your body too. You need time to develop. The imprint is already there, but...it needs time to come into visible form.

Me: Thank you.  

Taskmaster Time Bully (rushing in, breathless, agitated): But you've got to finish this, you're so behind on everything! Come on, how will you explain yourself to people?

Destroyer Critic: Ha! Fat chance of that...she's gone off the deep end and now everyone will be able to see it. 

In this example, you can see two things. One is how parts tend to use metaphor to communicate. Through the metaphor of a photograph needing to be in the chemical bath for a while longer, my conscious mind is able to understand the message that the time for "exposure" is not now. I need more time in the void, trusting the darkness to work her loving alchemy on me.

The other thing you can see is how parts get into conflicts with each other. This happens because parts, like actors in a drama, have different objectives. Sometimes a dramatic arc is discernible, including rising action, climax and denouement, complete with catharsis for all. By allowing anyone and everyone to come speak their piece, get in fights and work it out, the play comes to a natural resolution. At that point I can usually sense that the symptom is now processed and gone. 

Aside from catharsis, these dialogues can help a person come to a psychically-informed decision about something. Like benevolent rulers listening to the counsel of all in our lovely courts, we receive the full range of rich wisdom available to us. We get to uncover precious beauties, surprising truths. Gems of wisdom, guidance, discoveries of meaning and purpose. Delightful energies and characters return home to us when allowed to. 

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Guide to Dialogue

In general, dialoguing works best if we have a calm, curious, compassionate attitude wherever possible. Parts won't talk to us if we're in a rush, just want to suppress the symptoms, or for some other reason don't have the genuine intention to really listen. It's only when we surrender humbly and agenda-less-ly (that's a word, I'm saying) enough that it works. 

Great questions to ask to get a conversation going are:

>>Who or what are you? (If you don't know the character or symptom already)

>>What is your story? What's it like to be you? 

>>What is your role? What are you responsible for, what do you take care of? What would happen to me if you weren't here to do that job?

>>What do you need? Who or what is getting in your way of you getting that done? Is there any way that I could help you get that job done?

>>Is there anything else you want to say to me? A message you have for me? Anything I am not yet understanding about you or your experience?

>>What do you think I should do in this situation? (if seeking guidance on a topic. Parts, like people, love it when we ask them for advice) 

Have fun!

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Thumbnail image reverently appropriated from Ruth Heller's Animals Born Alive and Well.