This again

Like most living things, the psyche when healing itself grows spirally towards the light. So psyche-repair, trauma-work, and relationship themes feel somewhat recurrent.

We seem to circle back to what feels like the same territory. Upon closer examination we see that we might be in the same quadrant of our inner universe, but we are looking at it from a slightly rotated, shifted, or higher position.

We have our core themes, the things we’re working with in this lifetime. And blessedly, there are other themes which we have apparently not elected to struggle with.

I try to own, with gratitude and a measure of self-regard, the topics that I seem to have chosen to work with during my stay in a human form. Still there have been many times when I think “this again?”

When a new episode of the same old issue presents itself for a round of taking things further, into deeper healing, I often respond badly at first, with an initial rejection of this part of me. Eventually I come around to being willing to be affected, and to claiming and loving this part. Getting to that stage takes a variable amount of work and depends on the size of the chunk of shadow I am metabolizing.

This song is about that feeling of oh no not this again.

It is a catharsis piece.

Here you are again, little pulse that I don’t want.

Here you are again, hungry voice that I don’t want.

Who called you here, well I know it must have been me,

but I don’t remember calling you here.

And I’m just not that happy to see you.

Here we are again, you little shadow with no name.

I don’t remember calling you but I know it must have been me.

And I don’t want to see you shadowing my door.

I just don’t remember. I just don’t remember.

I just don’t remember your value to me.

And I’m just not that happy to see you.

My Invitation to You:

Choose an art form and use it to complain about something that you’re feeling a lack of motivation to engage with. Whether this opportunity to heal yourself seems to come from outside of you or clearly from within you doesn’t matter.

Let yourself be tired of your soul work, and give voice to that.

It’s a lot sometimes, it really, truly is.

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